Writing Assignment on the "If" Clause: Dong Jin

Today's assignment was writing "if" sentences.
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For example:

If I had more money, I would go on vacation.

-or-

I would go on vacation if I had more money.
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So, in this particular class, there's a very, um, vocal student named Dong Jin. He can be quite irritating with his nonstop banter, jokes, and jabs. I've tried everything to deter this over the last two months (short of beating him). A few weeks ago, when nothing was working, I decided to try something new. I told him that the next time he was disruptive and talking and playing, that he would stand up for 5minutes. Next, 10 minutes. Next, dancing for 10 minutes. Next, dancing and singing.

He didn't believe me.

So, when he pushed, I made him dance. He tried to not, but I told everyone to clap for him and watch him dance. He got very quiet (for maybe the first time ever), and said, "Teacher, please don't make me dance. I can't dance."

I asked, "Did you know you would have to dance if you kept talking in Korean?"

"Yes, teacher."

"Well, then, I think you should dance. (pause) Or you can promise to be quiet and let us finish our lesson."

"Okay, teacher. I'll be quiet."
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Since then, he's gotten rowdy a couple of times, and I've threatened dancing, to the point one day of turning on the radio, until again he conceded.

The other students have started helping by calling him DJ. He's not a fan, and they say is lovingly (they are his friends, after all), but it's often enough to calm him down. Last week, we were doing a lesson on vacations and where people wanted to visit. Someone mentioned Disney World, and a student said loudly, "I don't want to go to Disney World! I want to go to DJ World!"
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Back to today's lesson on "if" clauses. Most of the students took their final writing assignment of the day (topic: vacations, again) seriously, and wrote about going to France, North Korea, or the USA. But three (all best friends of Dong Jin) wrote about their adventures at DJ World. All of them made me laugh, but Chan Il's was by far the best. I laughed out loud, and with his permission read it to the whole class, and wrote it down to write here.

Here it is.
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*By Chan Il.

I would have a great adventure in DJ World. If I went on a Sunday, I'd go to DJ World. If I saw DJ, I'd hit DJ. If I saw a DJ doll, I'd throw it in the fire. If I rode a DJ, I'd hit DJ's head. If I had kimchi, I'd throw it at DJ. If I had lots of money, I'd buy DJ. It is so exciting.
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I can't say I much approve of the violence, but the sentence structure was good. And honestly, if you can get middle schoolers to speak to you, write an essay, and be creative, you've performed a miracle. They can deal with topic choice in high school when they're out of the kill/maim/dismember phase.