I'd read all about it, and even listened to a podcast about it, before returning home to Ohio. But nothing can prepare you for going back. Everything is different, and strangely unfamiliar. All the comparing and judging I did when I arrived in Korea has now been reversed. I find myself preferring some Korean things. For example, Korean showers (which lack a separate shower or tub) are infinitely easier to clean than American showers. Hose it down at the end of cleaning yourself, and its done. And I miss Jeju Orange juice, and Post Almond Flakes (holy crap they're tasty!). But walking into Whole Foods or Giant Eagle and seeing dozens of limes and avocados for so cheap, or a wine section larger than a shelf (and under $10!) is more exciting than I can describe. :D:D:D And CHEESE!!!! As I saw on a teeshirt I hope to someday own: PRAISE CHEESES! ;)
But it's really weird, and immensely disconcerting. I learned to really enjoy shopping in Korea and not being able to understand the conversations going on around me. I often knew I was being discussed, but I didn't have to care because I didn't know exactly what was being said. Here, my first retail experience (in MicroCenter, buying US adapters for my bought-in-Korea electronics) was so irritating because there was a guy in the next aisle arguing with his girlfriend on the phone. I just kept thinking, "Shut up! Shut up! Stop fighting about stupid sh--!" I don't care to be that involved in ridiculous conversations that don't concern me. And boy, let me tell you, there are some ridiculously stupid people having ridiculously stupid conversations everywhere I seem to be.
And I don't know if it's from having a more global outlook, or from living abroad amongst so many teachers who were involved in world affairs, or what, but I'm finding that the vast majority of people here seem to be way more concerned with who won American Idol than anything in the world outside their backyard. Now, I fully understand that everyone is built differently, and some people are perfectly happy to live on the street where they grew up, never travel outside of Ohio, and only think about their direct dealings, but I personally have trouble understanding this point of view. I guess I'm a gypsy, and know that I could never live here again. And they probably think the same of me. It's just frustrating.
I'm also finding that people are more unmotivated, irresponsible, and unreliable than I had taken them to be. Perhaps it's just that I was so much less so when I left, that I looked up to those traits in others, and maybe I glorified the truth a bit. I am willing to admit that that is possible. It's just shocking.
I am trying to work on dozens of projects this summer, and made a fairly strict plan in my mind of how to accomplish everything without going crazy. Others don't have this schedule. They are just continuing on with their daily lives, and I need to remember that. I'm just frustrated, and am realizing every day that I can't wait to leave again. Not the people (that I like :), mind you. Just the crazy, summer-is-short-so-let's-do-everything-in-3-months thing. I want my own space again. I want a steady income again. I don't want to clean other people's houses and help them move again. It needs to be done, but it might just kill me by the end of August.
[[big sigh]]
